After surfing the net and hoping to find some nice people to talk to, I just decided to scribble something just to ease some tensions on my mind.
Been days of mind-boggling and brain-whacking thoughts. I feel like shooing away all things, dismissing them all the same. I wanted to be in solitaire in an attempt to get things clear. Problems are abundant and omnipresent, left and right, top and bottom, north, east west and south. And it seems to be no scarcity of such.
As I leave my troubled room, where I temporarily leave the doubts, aversions and fears, I welcome more complications and bigger fears. Out of the comfort zone, inside the jail-like zone. And now comes more rubs for career and endless demands. I need to dispatch them in a flash. I need to rid of these lucid randomness.
And it seems there's no halting them. They become undeterred unsubmissive and ever winning whatever the war they are waging against.
They fire from my back like dragons from its chains, a heart attack to an old man, stroke for the hags and like a thief in the night. There seems to be endless like fires in hell, deep water in the well. And as I search for refuge, nothing comes my way. Everything seems to be in rage, war-mongering and ever hungry for revenge.
I’ve been wanting to take a break from the traffic that consumes me everyday. But there seems to be no escaping the fate that I chose to be with. This is supposed to be the better destiny, the best option, the benefit-maximizing alternative. If only Superman (or Supergirl) would come to rescue me out of the fire, then there would be peace. At the least maybe.
I would lie on the bed like a fallen leaf and would let the wind carry me in his arms to everywhere where there is less of grief, suffering and horror. Less anger, more peace. A paradise for solitaire. A place to retreat, where surrender and dying becomes a sweet pleasurable pick.
But then, just minutes away from the real world, the truth would come flashing again. Torturing and haunting me. Inescapable, I succumb in defeat knowing there is nothing for me to do to heal the wounds that severs pain.
Then with the last straw of strength, I rise and look up the sky, and attempts a Superman fly. Or will I be overwhelmed by the Kryptonite again?
